Listen to Your Mother: a read-through

Please join Rose Brooks Center at the Kansas City production of Listen To Your Mother, a national series of live readings celebrating motherhood locally and shared globally via social media, blogging and the Internet.  10% of the ticket sales for Listen To Your Mother will be donated to Rose Brooks Center.  Purchase your tickets now by following this link:
http://www.eventbrite.com/event/5222980074/efblike
.  Tickets are $12 in advance and $15 on the night of the show.  We hope to see you at Unity Temple on the Plaza on Saturday, May  11, at 7 p.m. to celebrate mothers!  

Check out the blog post below by one of the talented cast members…

Yesterday I trekked the 3+ hours to Kansas City for my very first read-through with the cast of Listen to Your Mother. I was nervous. I kept going through my piece in my head over and over, trying to strengthen the language and work out the kinks. I decided that I would read first, that way I wouldn’t spend the entire time focused on how nervous I was instead of listening to the other writers read their work.

I pulled up to Erin’s (one of our directors) house around 3:30. We weren’t scheduled to start until 4, so I sat in my car in front of her home and read my piece out loud a few more times. I took a blue pen out of my purse and marked through the places where I stumbled, changing words and shortening sentences. When I felt like it was sufficient, I gathered my things, took a deep breath, and stepped out of my car. I immediately ran into Dani and Lisa, two women I’ve never met in real life, but have grown very fond of over social media. Being me, I went in very business-like, introduced myself, and tried to shake their hands, but I was quickly corrected. Instead, I was embraced in two warm hugs.

This is the essence of Listen to Your Mother.

The other ladies soon arrived, and we all gathered in Erin’s basement, which was replete with snacks and drinks and housed a huge, cozy sitting area. We helped ourselves to Prosseco and oatmeal cookies, and then we all sat down to do introductions and begin the inevitable: the read-through. It turns out multiple people shared my idea to go first and get it over with, so I forfeited my spot as first reader in favor of letting one of our directors read first. She was nervous–really, we all were–but her piece was so moving, so well-written. And she shared it with such humility and grace. I mean, this is one of the directors of our show we’re talking about here. She is 50% of the reason any of us were even chosen to be sitting in that room, but she was nervous to share her story with us. Somehow the hierarchy faded away for that moment, and our stories made us equals.

This is the essence of Listen to Your Mother.

After that, we all went in turn, volunteering to read and eagerly accepting constructive criticism from the group afterwards. We laughed and cried, and without any of us even realizing it, it started to feel a lot less like a performance, and a lot more like just swapping stories with friends.

Photo by Laura Seymour, Director of LTYMKC

LTYMKC
I ended up going third from last with my reading, and when I walked up to the barstool (our makeshift podium), I wasn’t thinking anymore about how nervous I felt. Rather, I was thinking, it’s my turn; it’s time for me to share.

This is the essence of Listen to Your Mother.

My LTYM piece is about my struggles with depression. It is personal and confessional, and I say things in it that I’ve possibly never said publicly before, not even here on my blog. Last night, post-rehearsal, 3 separate people came up to me privately to tell me how much they connected with my words and to share pieces of their own experiences with me. This, more than anything else, is the essence of Listen to Your Mother. It strips away the judgment, the fear. It reduces us to the most basic and meaningful currency we possess: our stories. I was proud the day I found out I was chosen to speak among this incredible group of women, but after yesterday,  I am left only humbled and awe-struck. It’s like Ann Imig, the creator of Listen to Your Mother, said in her fabulous 3-minute explanation of the production, “When you look at people as everyone has a story, you will walk away forever changed.”

Yesterday I trekked the 3+ hours to Kansas City for my very first read-through with the cast of Listen to Your Mother, but driving home, I knew I would have gladly trekked 10. Or 20. Listen to Your Mother channels everything good about connecting and the digital age. We have the opportunity to share ourselves like never before, and with that, the ability to make others feel seen, heard, and understood. I’m so glad to live in this time, to have this little blog, to have these opportunities. And, more than anything, I am so, so honored to be a part of this year’s inaugural LTYM cast in Kansas City. I can’t wait to share it with you.

Verizon Wireless and Rose Brooks Center Announce “Champions for Teens Program”

February was Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month, but the staggering statistics surrounding this issue call for a heightened level of awareness year-round. According to research provided by Rose Brooks Center in Kansas City, Missouri, young females in the teen demographic are extremely susceptible to dating violence. In fact, approximately one in three adolescent girls in the United States is a victim of physical, emotional or verbal abuse from a dating partner – a figure that far exceeds victimization rates for other types of violence affecting youth.

Verizon Wireless has long been a strong corporate advocate for domestic violence awareness and prevention through our HopeLine® program, but the data we’re seeing in this age group calls for additional action at the community level, and where we can all do our part to help. Here are a few ways that we can work together to combat teen dating violence in our communities:

Parents, Take Note
Many parents are unaware that teen dating violence is a real risk, and therefore fail to discuss it with their children. Much like bullying and other issues that plague this age group, parents should make an effort to talk to their children about the issue and pay attention to changes in behavior or visible signs of withdrawal. Whether the child is male or female, open the door to honest communication and work to shift this statistic in the opposite direction.

Education is Key
This year, Verizon Wireless is proud to partner with Rose Brooks Center on “Champions for Teens.” The program is a four-week series conducted by Rose Brooks Center’s educational specialists at 40 schools in the Kansas City metro area. The specialists will talk with students in grades 6-12 on the dangers of teen dating violence, how to identify the warning signs and provide them with resources they can turn to for help. School is a natural place where teens gather, so this program aims to reach out to students in a venue where they feel safe. In addition to the Champions for Teens program, the experts at Rose Brooks serve as a year-round resource for those struggling with teen dating violence and do ongoing work in the community to educate individuals and groups on this issue.

Encourage Healthy Relationships through Volunteering
Be a positive role model. Whether you are a parent or just an adult who cares, you can encourage healthy relationships with teens in your area by getting involved through community, church and youth programs or centers. Volunteering gives individuals the opportunity to be mentors, counselors and trusted allies for at-risk teens.

Teen dating violence is a reality, and the burden shouldn’t be carried by the victims alone. By doing our part to work with teens in our own communities, we can all work to combat violence one role model at a time.

Learn more or support our mission at
http://www.RoseBrooks.org

Paws Place Grand Opening Celebration

As spoken by Susan Miller at the Paws Place Grand Opening Celebration on Wednesday, June, 13.

Good morning and thank you for being here today to celebrate this addition to Rose Brooks Center.  

And I want to share with you some exciting news I just heard from one of our shelter advocates.  By 3:00 this afternoon these kennels will be FULL!  Women who have not chosen not to come to shelter because they wouldn’t abandon their pets are finally going to get safe.  So, thank you for your support – its impact starts today!

We at Rose Brooks Center have always known and respected the incredible connection between victims of violence and animals.  In fact, for years we have participated in pet-focused programs like the Delta Society that brings service pets out here twice a month to work with the young children in our shelter.  

We knew the benefits.  But we also knew the cost.  And at the time, we simply couldn’t add to our very long list of programs – pet shelter.  

But that all changed in August 2009 when an incredibly brave woman – who was rushed here by the police after her dog heroically risked his own life to protect her from an abusive boyfriend – told the woman working the overnight in shelter – “I am not coming without my dog.”

In fact, she even said that they would drive to the nearest rest stop or park outside our gates and sleep in the car.  

Well, what could we do?  We made an exception.  

And I must say, I am so glad we did.  

Of course, we didn’t realize at the time that the first dog we let stay in shelter was closer to a horse than a dog, but… We made a home for him in a spare bathroom in our basement and very soon he became the agency’s favorite resident for both our clients and staff.  

Their courageous story inspired us to redefine what family means to Rose Brooks Center.  For this woman – just like so many other pet lovers – her dog is her family, her safe place, her child.  

And today in honor of their incredible story, I dedicate this pet shelter Paws Place, a healing place for pets.  

And unveil this plaque – a testament to your incredible story and lasting legacy – which reads:

Futures Without Violence Leadership Award

Rose Brooks Center was recently honored with the Futures Without Violence Leadership Award at the Interdisciplinary Health, Research and Education Conference in San Francisco for its efforts in bridging the gap between advocates and health care providers and creating programs that have improved the lives and safety of countless victims of abuse, specifically through our award-winning Bridge Programs.

RBC’s Chief Operations Offices, Lisa Fleming, accepted this prestigious award and gave the following speech to the more than 800 participants.  

On behalf of Rose Brooks Center, I want to thank Futures Without Violence and the Steering Committee of the National Conference on Health Care and Domestic Violence for this honor. Often times, we only focus on how much more work there is to be done and fail to recognize the progress we have made.

It was a perfect opportunity for me to look back to the beginnings of the Bridge Program, our achievements and recognize the champions who have inspired and supported our efforts to better serve survivors of domestic violence.

In 1998, Rose Brooks Center’s Bridge Program served 68 survivors at two local hospitals. Fast forward to 2011, during which time we served 1,038 survivors and trained over 3,100 health care staff at 6 hospitals, their affiliated clinics and 4 community health centers. Along the way, Rose Brooks Center provided training to 4 other Kansas City Metro Area domestic violence programs on how to replicate the Bridge Program model. Today our coalition of domestic violence agencies serve hospitals and clinics throughout the metro area.

We have been extremely fortunate to have champions to share our vision and mission.

They may not know it, but our first champion was Futures Without Violence. I will never forget my relief back in 1998 when I opened my copy of the “Improving the Health Care Response to Domestic Violence: A Resource Manual for Health Care Providers.”  This manual provided us with the blue print to begin our partnership with hospitals and clinics. We continue to use the three-pronged approach of direct services, training and policy development with the Bridge Program and all of our other community based programs.

Throughout the years, the staff of Futures Without Violence and the experts highlighted at the National Conference on Health Care and Domestic Violence have been a constant source for motivating us to expand and improve our services. Both are a perfect match for connecting research and policy work directly to practice. Often the catalyst for implementing an improvement was as simple as Rebecca Levinson asking us “Have you thought about ?” or our staff’s commitment to implement the innovative ideas they learned at this very conference.

These staff and volunteers have been our in-house champions beginning with Julie Thomas-Beck our first Bridge Program Director. A one woman show  who followed the Resource Manual’s  best practice recommendations to fully establish the Bridge Program and initiate its expansion  to our current Bridge Program Director Tanya Draper-Douthit who has been instrumental in implementing strategies for addressing reproductive coercion. Throughout its history, our CEO Susan Miller has demonstrated a commitment to what I call a “healthy disrespect for the impossible” and the visionary leadership that has created an agency culture that values and expects quality and innovation.

Our ability to take a lead role in connecting health care with domestic violence has been greatly supported by many champions from the health care field. Among them Dr. Robert Muellman who initiated hospital-based advocacy services at Kansas City’s Truman Medical Center in what would eventually become our Bridge Program.

Dr. Zita Supernaut of the University of Kansas Medical Center who freely shared her expertise, connected Rose Brooks Center with national level experts and tirelessly advocated for systems change within the teaching hospital.

Dr. Jane Knapp and Dr. Denise Dowd at Children’s Mercy Hospital who recognized the impact of children’s exposure to domestic violence and the need to have domestic violence advocacy services in a Children’s Hospital.

And Dr. Jacquelyn Campbell whose research on lethality risks indicators has been applied to our implementation of lethality assessment protocol within the Bridge Program and our partnerships with law enforcement.

Ultimately though, it is the survivors of domestic violence and their children who are the reason we do this work. Their strength and courage are a constant inspiration and their traumatic experiences a tragic reminder of our collective obligation to respond to domestic violence.

Obviously there is a monetary cost for operating our Bridge Program. However the greatest impact we as domestic violence advocates and health care professionals can make usually come for free by changing policy and practice. One of the best examples of this is the decision by health care professionals in our community to change their policy and practice in order to implement Universal Screening for domestic violence. This change in policy and practice ensured that in the 13 year history of the Bridge Program, Rose Brooks Center has been able to help close to 8,000 survivors plan for safety and connect with our often lifesaving shelter and services.

I am extremely proud to be a part of an agency that values innovation, quality and creativity, encourages staff and volunteers to continually find ways to better serve, embraces an attitude that change can and will happen, and demonstrates a commitment to building and sustaining collaborations with our community partners.

Again, on behalf of the staff, volunteers and Board of Rose Brooks Center, I thank you for this Leadership Award.

Dean Newton Hikes Through The Grand Canyon for Rose Brooks Center

Rose Brooks Center did a short interview with Dean Newton – RBC Board Member and outdoorsman extraordinaire – on his upcoming Grand Canyon hike.  Dean’s adventure is a terrific example of creative fundraising and how one committed individual can support Rose Brooks Center in a tremendous way. You can support Dean by making a donation in honor of the Grand Canyon hike.

 

RBC: Tell us about the Grand Canyon hike.  

Grand Canyon Fundraising Hike

Dean: I am hiking the Grand Canyon from rim to rim.  As the crow flies, it’s about 18 miles. On foot it is over 21 miles.  The hike is challenging for a couple of reasons.  In addition to the distance, the terrain is uneven and the elevation changes are intense: 5,700 vertical feet down and approximately 12 miles down. Then another 9 miles and 4,500 vertical feet up.  With changes in elevation come extreme temperatures, ranging from freezing cold on the rim to triple digit heat on the canyon floor.  Hikers can experience 13 different climate zones along the way.  The larger challenge is that I am doing this hike in a day. The National Park Service and Grand Canyon Park do not endorse doing this hike in one day.  Hikers run the risk of hypnatremia, dehydration and extreme heat exhaustion.   While there are serious risks, the reward of challenging myself and helping others (who face far greater challenges than anything I will experience on this trip) was simply too compelling.

RBC: Not being outdoorsy myself, this sounds intense – and a little crazy.  What made you want to do it?

Dean: Domestic violence has touched my life in many ways. I grew up in a household that included significant domestic violence. As a lawyer, I have counseled several friends who have struggled with domestic violence issues.  As a result of my background, ending the cycle of violence and helping survivors and their children move toward safe and independent violence-free lives is a cause that is extremely important to me.

As a Rose Brooks board member, I realize the central role the organization plays to provide a safe home for literally thousands of women and children in the area.   Unfortunately, the growing demands for services at Rose Brooks is outpacing the resources. Last year Rose Brooks had to turn away 2700 women and children.  That is simply unacceptable.  We must raise more money to address this problem.

As I looked to find a way to raise money, I wanted to do something different.  I thought an extreme challenge such as the Grand Canyon hike would be a good way to raise awareness of this acute problem in the area.

RBC: Have you done anything like this before? 

Dean: Nothing even close to this magnitude! But perhaps I am understating when I say that.

RBC: It sounds like an incredibly intense day.  I assume you’ve had to do some training to prepare for the hike.  What does that include? 

Dean: Fortunately, I have been training for the last few months with John Brown at Revolution Gym. He has been really helpful in getting me prepared for this hike.  My training has been a combination of cardio and weight training. The cardio is to build stamina and strengthen the legs. The weight training emphasizes the body core since I will be carrying a pack weighing approximately 15 pounds for an extended period of time.

Dean Newton

RBC: What do your friends/family think of you doing this? 

They think I am crazy.  But everyone has been incredibly supportive. My kids are enjoying the preparation as they learn more than they every thought they needed to know about all things related to the Grand Canyon.

RBC: Why did you choose RBC as the beneficiary for the hike? 

As I mentioned, as a child growing up in a violent household, I know from personal experience the impact domestic violence can have on a family.  If we did not have access to the support and services provided by organizations like Rose Brooks Center, I do not know where we would be today.  Rose Brooks Center is the leader in innovative domestic violence programs and support.  They literally are saving lives every day and 100% of every dollar I raise will go directly to Rose Brooks to help victims and their families.

How does Rose Brooks Center benefit from this hike?

I am asking friends and family to sponsor my hike. They have been both supportive and generous.  Any money raised will be used to help purchase formula for babies, meals for moms and their families as well as safe shelter and counseling for victims and their familes. Folks interested can still donate. Simply access the website for more details at
http://www.RoseBrooks.org

Annual Holiday Store for Rose Brooks Center

I have been a volunteer for Rose Brooks for 1O years and one of the highlights of my Christmas season is to volunteer at the Holiday Store. I generally have a few vacation days from work to myself and spending some time at the Holiday Store gives me a sense of accomplishment and sharing.

Rose Brooks Center is an amazing, worthwhile and much-needed organization, but meeting the needs of women and children at Christmas time is a challenge.  Whether accepting dropped-off items at the kiosk or sorting gift items and bins in the storage area, I always feel the spirit of Christmas after being welcomed and thanked by Joan Dougherty.

Merry Christmas to Rose Brooks and thank you for your services to
women and children of Kansas City.

Deborah Bollman

Today concluded the 17th annual Rose Brooks Center Holiday Store.  Despite the poor economic times, the Kansas City community once again stepped up to ensure that every woman and child has a safe and happy holiday season.  The hundreds of donated gifts are currently being organized by devoted volunteers, set up to look like a real store.  Later today, staff will take groups of women and children to the “store” to shop for their family.  Thank you to Joan Dougherty, RBC staff and Holiday Store queen, the hundreds of committed volunteers who worked tirelessly manning the mall kiosk – and of course all the individuals who donated gifts, supplies and money to help support the families at Rose Brooks Center. We couldn’t do our great work without you.

View the list of needs at Rose Brooks Center >
http://www.RoseBrooks.org/help-meetaneed.html

It Takes Guts to End Abuse

The facts and figures of domestic violence are scary and It Takes GUTS to End Abuse. In honor of domestic violence awareness month beauty brands has teamed up with domestic violence shelters around the country to End Abuse and has locally teamed up with the Rose Brooks Center.

To help the Rose Brooks Center and beauty brands End Abuse, visit any beauty brands location to get REDKEN Guts for $7.98 (regularly $15.98) and 100 percent of the proceeds will be donated to a local domestic violence shelter from now until Nov 1.

You can also purchase an End Abuse t-shirt at beautybrands.com for $20 and 100 percent of the profits will also be donated to a local domestic violence shelter from now until Nov. 1. Don’t forget to get one for your mom, sister and bff!

beauty brands wants all women to know that they have the power to help or to be helped, visit ittakesguts.org for more information.

My big sister, Rozeta Birch-Jones

Me and Rozeta celebrated just months before she was murdered.

Dear RiskHope,

Strong, opinionated, straight-forward, and independent are a few words that I use to describe my big sister, Rozeta Birch-Jones. She played such an active role in my upbringing; she was at every birthday party, graduation. She was the person who taught me to love unconditionally, no matter how much someone hurt me.

I can’t remember the last thing I said to her or the last time I saw her, but I will never forget how I felt when I got the phone call on Sunday, October 10, 2008. He had killed her. My sister was gone.

At her memorial, I handed out purple ribbons for everyone to wear in recognition of victims of domestic violence, in recognition of my sister. From that day on, I vowed to not stand by and allow another family to endure the pain that my family had. I have since used every opportunity I have had to bring awareness and support victims of domestic violence.

On March 9, 2010, I turned 30.  I celebrated “Three Decades of ME!” in Kansas City with family and friends. But my circle of loved ones wasn’t complete; Rozeta wasn’t there to celebrate with me.  I decided to use the celebration of my life to recognize her life that ended so tragically. I started Ribbons for Rozeta in honor of my sister.  All the guests at my party wore domestic violence ribbons and were asked to make a donation to Rose Brooks Center in her honor. I plan to make Ribbons for Rozeta an annual event, and in the meantime, will continue raising awareness for this serious cause.

I will always remember my sister’s strength and determination, and it’s those memories that will keep me strong and be the driving force behind my efforts.

Neosho Ponder

To learn more about Rose Brooks Center and how you can support our mission visit http://www.RoseBrooks.org

Soul Steps Interview With Stephanie Doolin O’Dear

Q&A with Soul Steps’ Emcee, Stephanie Doolin O’Dear

Stephanie Doolin O’Dear (center) with rock star photographer and RBC supporters, Jenny and Ruth Wheat

What does the theme Soul Steps mean to you?

Soul Steps means honoring the journey that each of us has as we live a life in search of our full potential. Recognizing those moments when critical mass forces us to make life-threatening or life-changing decisions. The magnitude of those decisions is uniquely intimate and personal to the person experiencing them. The process occurs in our soul at the deepest level.  And the clarity we uncover there provides the courage to take the next step.

What makes this event different?  Why should I come?

Did someone say shoes?  I’m so there!   But seriously, there is not a man or woman I know who hasn’t wrestled with major upheaval. And a person experiencing intimate partner abuse is Exhibit A. It crosses ethnic, economic and class boundaries. Rose Brooks is one of the shining stars of our community, and yet they are forced to turn away those in need each day due to lack of space. There isn’t anyone I know who can’t find an hour for this worthy and unique event.  And did you hear there are shoes?

Why do you support Rose Brooks Center?

I support Rose Brooks Center because of my own story, my appreciation of their services, and the impact on the lives of those they serve.  It is unlike any other organization I know – it is the path to recovery and brimming with humanity and compassion. Working with its people and vision feels real and tangible – and I invite all to discover the rewards of being involved.

Soul Steps on September 30, 2010

Join Stephanie Thursday, September 30 at Soul Steps to celebrate the courageous steps every woman takes in life.  Your support will save lives – and you may even walk out in a new pair of Manolos!  Click here to learn more about this unique event and the designer shoe raffle and buy your tickets today.

Learn more at
http://www.RoseBrooks.org

Mrs. Kansas International 2010 – Crista Murdock

I was raised in a Christian home by loving devoted Christian parents. I attended church three times a week. Both parents were very active in the church. My father was a Deacon and Sunday School Superintendent, and both parents were leaders in the youth ministry, yet I was too afraid to admit that I was in an abusive relationship.

It started out as a normal teenage relationship. The first year of the relationship was wonderful.  I was young and in love.  But in to the second year, he became increasingly jealous. I was not allowed to spend time with my friends, talk to any males (not friends or relatives) and could not attend any school functions. Eventually I was not allowed to even wear makeup or curl my hair.

It was my Home Economics teacher who finally reached out to me. She recognized the signs and simply asked if she could help. Had it not been for her, I don’t know where I would be.  She let me know that I was not alone and that there is a way to escape.  She saved my life.

If you are in an unhealthy relationship, if you feel like you can’t be yourself around him, if you need help – please reach out to a trusted adult.  If you are uncomfortable telling your parents, I encourage you to confide in a teacher or school counselor. It worked for me.

To all school employees: Please get involved! Take notice. Learn the signs of teen violence.  You can make a difference by simply asking “can I help?”

Crista Murdock
Mrs. Kansas International 2010

Some warning signs to talk to your teen about to see if they are in an abusive teen relationship or a victim of teen dating violence include:

• Jealous or controlling behavior, including over friends, appearance, and eating habits
• Sexual pressure
• Pressure to use drugs or alcohol
• Name-calling or swearing
• A partner losing his or her temper, blaming the other for his or her behavior
• A partner insulting or embarrassing the other in front of others
• Any form of physical violence
• A partner threatening to hurt others or him or herself

Warning signs of an abusive teen relationship or teen dating violence, including:

• Unexplained injuries
• Changes in appearance
• Withdrawal from friends and family
• Giving up activities that were once enjoyed
• Changes in behavior or mood – acting depressed, anxious, or secretive, or acting out
• Alcohol or drug use
• Apologizing for or justifying a partner’s behavior – especially his or her temper
• Acting afraid of a partner, or worrying about making him or her angry
• One partner is possessive and makes all the decisions
• One partner insults, criticizes or embarrasses the other

Learn about ways to help at http://www.RoseBrooks.com